Just A Mom Family

I’m not a dad

I have heard a lot from single moms and dads, widowed or otherwise, that now they “have to be the mom AND the dad.” While practically I totally get that, I find I can’t burden myself further with that thought; feeling like I need to be the dad for my children, now that theirs is dead. It’s too exhausting to try to...

Impatient knitter

Anything involving sewing, knitting or crocheting is beyond me; I just don’t have the patience for it. In fact, I have always struggled with patience and wanting to see the final result quickly, rather than enjoying the time in between the raw material, or the process, and the finished product or result. Sometimes the time between start and finish can be boring,...

Eagerly awaiting a New Year

It really bothers me when people complain about their age, like getting older is a sad thing, like the future is never going to hold what the days of their youth used to hold. Several months ago this year, I turned 30—I was eagerly awaiting 30 and not dreading it. I wince if I hear someone gripe about turning another year older...

A little bundle of Hope

Hope in something greater than the current circumstance. Hope in something yet to be seen. The force of Hope drives one to push through the darkness into the light. -Nicole Hastings   I distinctly remember the night I prayed to God for a sign that everything would be OK. It was a different prayer than those I had prayed every night for...

The presence of your gift

On an evening in December 2011 my husband, Phil, received a phone call. We had just nestled our twin babies into bed and cozied up on the couch for a movie. Since it was late in the evening and it was a number Phil didn’t recognize he let it go to voicemail. When he listened to the message he got up from...

Children’s Grief Therapy Hack #1: Angry eggs- Part 2

My twin boys were two when their daddy died and their grief was left unattended for awhile because I was so lost in my own. I didn’t have the slightest clue about how to tune into their grief or what to do about it. They were so young and it was hard for them to comprehend all that had happened and why...

Mom and Dad’s DIY therapy hack #1: Break some stuff-Part 1

  “Wise anger is like the fire from the flint; there is a great ado to bring it out; and when it does come, it is out again immediately.”~ Matthew Henry The first year after the loss of my husband, I was constantly swimming with anger; anger towards cancer for stealing my husband and my children’s father, anger towards things that were said or...

Thanks+grieving

“I see people, as they approach me, trying to make up their minds whether they’ll ‘say something about it’ or not. I hate if they do, and if they don’t.” C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed   As we embark on the holiday season with Thanksgiving, and then Christmas, we are expected to and expect others to participate in and feel words like...

I will celebrate holding your hand

“I never knew holding someone’s hand could feel so inviting, so familiar and so new at the same time. Holding your hand, I celebrate it, I mark it on calendars.” -Anita Krizzan Almost six years ago, I made a vow to hold my husband, Phil’s, hand through the brightest days and the darkest. Two years ago today, November 20, 2013, I held...

I’m a bad mom

…when I am tired, stressed and overwhelmed, and don’t give myself the time to acknowledge that I am tired, stressed and overwhelmed. In other words, when I “keep on truckin,’” I find myself crashing into the guardrail, and the “I’m not a good mom” guilt-rants begin to play in my head. Then I’m stressed and overwhelmed by all the other things to...