Just A Mom Family
Copyright: ouh_desire

The presence of your gift

On an evening in December 2011 my husband, Phil, received a phone call. We had just nestled our twin babies into bed and cozied up on the couch for a movie. Since it was late in the evening and it was a number Phil didn’t recognize he let it go to voicemail. When he listened to the message he got up from...

Copyright: Nicole Hastings 2015

Children’s Grief Therapy Hack #1: Angry eggs- Part 2

My twin boys were two when their daddy died and their grief was left unattended for awhile because I was so lost in my own. I didn’t have the slightest clue about how to tune into their grief or what to do about it. They were so young and it was hard for them to comprehend all that had happened and why...

Copyright: Candus Camera

Mom and Dad’s DIY therapy hack #1: Break some stuff-Part 1

  “Wise anger is like the fire from the flint; there is a great ado to bring it out; and when it does come, it is out again immediately.”~ Matthew Henry The first year after the loss of my husband, I was constantly swimming with anger; anger towards cancer for stealing my husband and my children’s father, anger towards things that were said or...

Nicole Hastings

Thanks+grieving

“I see people, as they approach me, trying to make up their minds whether they’ll ‘say something about it’ or not. I hate if they do, and if they don’t.” C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed   As we embark on the holiday season with Thanksgiving, and then Christmas, we are expected to and expect others to participate in and feel words like...

By Nicole Hastings

I will celebrate holding your hand

“I never knew holding someone’s hand could feel so inviting, so familiar and so new at the same time. Holding your hand, I celebrate it, I mark it on calendars.” -Anita Krizzan Almost six years ago, I made a vow to hold my husband, Phil’s, hand through the brightest days and the darkest. Two years ago today, November 20, 2013, I held...

copyright: Paisit Teeraphatsakool

I’m a bad mom

…when I am tired, stressed and overwhelmed, and don’t give myself the time to acknowledge that I am tired, stressed and overwhelmed. In other words, when I “keep on truckin,’” I find myself crashing into the guardrail, and the “I’m not a good mom” guilt-rants begin to play in my head. Then I’m stressed and overwhelmed by all the other things to...

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Those who have gone before

In the season of raising young children when we are reminded time and time again to cherish the season, to enjoy every moment, well-meaning unsolicited advice and self-inflicted guilt is overwhelming to me. As a widowed single parent, the glaring absence of my other half makes the stress and guilt unbearable at times. My 4-year-old boys are very energetic, outgoing and exude...

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This little light of mine

“I invite you to consider that to inhibit, delay, convert or avoid grief is to condemn yourself to a living death. Living fully requires that you feel fully. It means being completely one with what you are experiencing.”* -Dr. Alan Wolfelt, Ph.D.   Growing up, I remember Halloween as a marker of a joyful holiday season about to begin. Once the leaves...

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My primary occupation is: Just a Mom.

If I could count the times I’ve heard (and said myself) the phrase, “Oh, I’m just a mom” after being asked the question, “What do you do for a living?” it would fill a number of pages. But we do that, right? Sell ourselves short on the hardest, most privileged “job” in the world by emphasizing that word ‘JUST.’ Well… After four...